


And so the spring buds burst

by chajatta



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, frank discussions of sporting injury, post-worlds 2019, scoring discourse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 17:55:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18596458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chajatta/pseuds/chajatta
Summary: “So,” Javi finally breaks the silence. Yuzuru chances a glance up and he’s smiling, smug and knowing. “Are you getting an early night?”Yuzuru snorts and extracts himself from Javi’s warm grasp. He strides straight past Javi, checking him with his shoulder as he goes. “Come up to my room.”





	And so the spring buds burst

**Author's Note:**

> I finally finished the thing! 
> 
> One day, I will write something for these two that does not involve the "frank discussion of sporting injury" tag and also making Yuzu cry, but today is not that day. Could absolutely be read as a companion to/follow on from "At the dawn of spring," but it isn't necessary to have read that first. 
> 
> Work will be locked after five days.

As far as banquets go, Saitama is shaping up to be one of the better ones. 

After four months away and doubts that he would ever even make it, simply just being here is a pleasure that Yuzuru had been scared, at his lowest moments, he wouldn’t be allowed. Taking an endless stream of photos with other skaters, doing his rounds, shaking hands like a newly elected local mayor is a duty that Yuzuru is more than happy to fulfil, all things considered. 

Usually, Yuzuru would be about to spend most of the summer with some of these skaters, but this year he still doesn’t know what his plans are. He’s going back to Toronto with Ghislain tomorrow, to get started on his long term rehabilitation programme, but beyond that everything is still up in the air. His entire summer depends on how he recovers, on the state of his ankle, and so Yuzuru fully intends to make the most of the time he has here tonight, posing graciously for a picture with anyone that asks, basking in the post-competition buzz, even if it isn’t quite the buzz Yuzuru would have liked. 

Yuzuru is just excusing himself from a selfie with a handsome, blond Russian when someone clears their throat behind him. Yuzuru turns, polite smile fixed to his face, expecting to see someone else that wants a moment with him, but what he actually sees is-

“Javi!”

Heedless of how many people are around them, and who might be looking, Yuzuru throws himself bodily at Javi. There’s an intake of breath and then Javi’s arms are around him, holding Yuzuru close against his chest. 

“Hey, you,” Javi says, quiet and intimate against Yuzuru’s ear. Yuzuru has his face buried in Javi’s neck and it’s a struggle not to kiss him there, not to nose his way down to the dip of Javi’s throat. Instead Yuzuru just holds Javi tighter, fingers curling into the back of his jumper. 

“Hi,” Yuzuru breathes. He finally pulls away to look at Javi, really look at him, and he’s almost overcome. Back in Toronto, Yuzuru had spoken to Javi regularly, Line messages and late night Skype calls softening the blow of their distance. But since he’d arrived in Saitama, the two of them had both scaled back, withdrawing from each other to allow Yuzuru to concentrate on the job at hand. Javi had texted him after the free skate, “ _skated like a true champion, i’m so proud of you_ ❤️”, but they haven’t spoken in over a week. They haven’t seen in each other in the flesh in so much longer. 

Having Javi here now, his hands holding tight to Yuzuru’s shoulders, the woody scent of his cologne, it feels like the final ounce of pressure Yuzuru had been carrying around has been released. 

“You look good,” Javi says. He chews on his lower lip as he looks Yuzuru up and down. Yuzuru grins. It’s good to know that Javi’s feeling just as affected as he is. “Listen, I know they’re serving food in a minute, but I just wanted to come and say hi before you have to go.”

Yuzuru’s eyes crinkle. “I’m glad,” he says. People are already starting to take their seats around them, and Yuzuru knows he should go and join the rest of Team Japan, but it’s so hard to tear himself away from Javi. “After dinner and speeches, I come find you, okay?” 

Javi nods, a smile stretching across his face. “Yeah, okay.” He pulls Yuzuru back in for another hug, this one even longer than the last. “Make sure you eat.”

Yuzuru rolls his eyes and pulls away. He picks his way carefully through the tables, nodding politely to everyone that waves in his direction, then slides into his seat at the table. He’s sandwiched between Rika and Satoko and they both include him in their conversation immediately, easy and familiar. Yuzuru catches Shoma’s eye from across the table and he pulls a face, sticking his tongue out until Shoma snorts a little laugh. 

Yuzuru had been too busy practicing during the week, and then with his media commitments after the free skate, to spend much time with his team mates. This hasn’t been a great Worlds, for any of them, and Yuzuru knows they’re all feeling different amounts of disappointed, but the vibe at the table is positive, hopeful, already looking towards the off-season and ahead. They joke and laugh with each other, sharing stories and anecdotes. Even Shoma seems relaxed and if having Javi here makes Yuzuru feel like he’s floating, seeing Shoma smile is yet another weight off his shoulders.

The dinner dishes are cleared away and Yuzuru casts his gaze around the room. He can’t see Javi but Yuzuru does spot Jason, bent over his speech a few tables down. Yuzuru had helped him to edit it, the two of them sat in the lounge at the Cricket Club, heads bent together as Yuzuru ran over it with a pen, scribbling little corrections here and there. Jason must feel him staring. He meets Yuzuru’s gaze but the smile he offers is shaky and obviously nervous. Yuzuru gives him a little thumbs up and he sees Jason laugh, nodding as he turns back to his paper. 

He ends up nailing it, just as Yuzuru suspected, and if Yuzuru stands and applauds for longer than anyone else, when he’s finished, he refuses to be embarrassed. Jason deserves it. 

“You do so good,” Yuzuru tells him, once all the speeches are done and the skaters are free to mingle once more. The Cricket lot have started gathering already, co-opting an empty table. Yuzuru waves to Gabby and Evgenia, and then slides into the empty seat beside Jason. 

“Oh, thank you,” Jason laughs and shakes his head. “I don’t know, though. I was so nervous my hands were shaking.”

“Nobody can see,” Yuzuru insists. “Everyone is so impress- impressed? Our whole Team Japan table saying ‘wow, wow, Jason’s Japanese is so good!’” Yuzuru mimes clapping and Jason flushes. 

“Yeah? You guys are the best.” He presses his hands to his red cheeks. “I’m glad it’s over though, I can finally relax.”

Yuzuru hums. Relaxing sounds nice. He leans back in this chair, smoothing his hands down over his thighs. “Have you see Javi around?” Yuzuru asks. 

Evgenia leans over the table on Jason’s other side, hair falling in a loose tumble over her shoulder. “Speaking of the devil, here he comes.” 

Yuzuru blinks, bemused. “The devil?”

Evgenia nods over his shoulder and when Yuzuru turns there he is, making his way through the crowd of people towards them. Yuzuru immediately sits up straighter, ignoring the way Jason and Evgenia share a knowing glance in the corner of his vision, and waves Javi over. 

“There you guys are.” Javi drops a hand to the back of Yuzu’s neck and squeezes gently before pulling away, his arms suddenly full as Gabby leaps up for a hug. “Where’s Jun?”

“Oh, he’s just gone to get a drink,” Gabby says. “Come, come, sit.” She pushes him down next to Yuzuru and Javi folds easily, laughter warm as he throws a casual arm over the back of Yuzuru’s chair. 

Evgenia quickly strikes up a conversation with Javi and Yuzuru closes his eyes for a moment. He allows the moment to pass over him, basking in the pure joy of being present, even if the end result wasn’t what he wanted, even if he is still far more injured than he cares to admit. There’s a soft touch on the back of his neck and Yuzuru opens his eyes, the room bleeding back into sharp focus. Javi is still talking to Evgenia, but his hand is resting over Yuzuru’s nape, his fingers toying with Yuzuru’s hair. Gabby smirks at the pair of them and Yuzuru feels his cheeks heat up, flushed with pleasure. 

They’re not usually like this in public. Usually Yuzuru would pull away, put some distance between them, but it feels nice to be open around his friends like this, to have Javi’s hands on him. It’s not like this touch isn’t something that can’t be explained away, anyway, if need be. He and Javi have always been allowed a certain amount of leeway in the eyes of their peers. 

By the time Junhwan rejoins them, Javi Raya in tow, laughter is in full flow around the table. Yuzuru can feel himself being swept along in the current of it. They take pictures together, posing like idiots, just a group of young adults enjoying the beauty of being alive. Yuzuru doesn’t forget about the dull ache in his ankle, the way that silver medal had felt so heavy around his neck, but he’s able to push it aside, compartmentalise it, for now. 

He can’t take his eyes off Javi. 

Javi, who should look out of place at a fancy dinner in jeans and a jumper. Javi, who didn’t even compete at Worlds, yet walks around the room with an easy smile, greeting every skater that drifts by their table. Yuzuru can’t stand another moment apart from him, not tonight. He wants Javi to himself. 

Yuzuru says his goodnights to his Cricket family. It’s still only early, relatively speaking, and they try to convince him to stay, but Yuzuru is resolute. He cares for them all, in his own way, and he’s grateful for this evening, but it’s keeping him back from what he needs. 

Yuzuru checks in one last time with Shoma and Keiji before he leaves. Shoma looks tired but he doesn’t protest when Yuzuru pulls him into a hug and presses his nose into Shoma’s hair. Yuzuru doesn’t know when they’ll see each other next, but Saitama put Shoma through the wringer, and Yuzuru just wants him to know that he cares.

Finally, Yuzuru finds himself in the hallway outside the banquet hall. The sudden quiet is pressing and Yuzuru takes a moment, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. It isn’t long before the door creaks and Yuzuru opens one eye to see Javi slipping into the corridor behind him. Javi reaches out and Yuzuru goes, nestling under Javi’s arm, allowing himself the indulgence. 

“So,” Javi finally breaks the silence. Yuzuru chances a glance up and he’s smiling, smug and knowing. “Are you getting an early night?” 

Yuzuru snorts and extracts himself from Javi’s warm grasp. He strides straight past Javi, checking him with his shoulder as he goes. “Come up to my room.”

They don’t stick as close to each other now, not the way they had in the banquet hall. It’s one thing there, when there are other people around. Anybody could excuse their being a little handsy and overly affectionate at a social event like that - two training partners, soon to be _ex_ -training partners, who haven’t seen each other in months, wanting to spend some time together? It’s understandable. This, though? Heading upstairs alone, Javi’s fingers grazing the small of Yuzuru’s back as they take the lift to the seventh floor. There’s no mistaking what this is. 

They slip into Yuzuru’s hotel room like ghosts, the door clicking shut and locked behind them. Then it all happens at once, as though someone has slammed the fast forward button on something that has been paused for far too long. 

Yuzuru is on Javi before either of them can even attempt to turn the lights on. His keycard falls from his fingers as he fists the front of Javi’s jumper. “I’m so glad you came,” Yuzuru breathes against Javi’s mouth. He leans in to kiss him again, and again, savouring the taste of him, until they’re both breathless. “I missed you so much.”

“Fuck, Yuzu,” Javi curses. He sounds wrecked already and Yuzuru pulls back, lips twitching. “I missed you, too. Come here.” 

Javi gathers him in close, arms wrapped tight around him. He grabs a generous handful of Yuzuru’s ass and squeezes hard before he presses their bodies together, tight and close, until there’s hardly even space to breathe. 

Yuzuru shrugs out of his suit jacket, leaning over Javi’s body to hang it carefully on the hooks by the door. Javi takes the opportunity to kiss all along Yuzuru’s neck, hands sliding up from his ass to unfasten Yuzuru’s tie, his top buttons, so that Javi can mouth at his pulse. 

“ _Oh_ , Javi,” Yuzuru sighs. He curls his fingers into Javi’s hair. “Your beard- it got big.” 

Javi laughs. He dips his head down, rubbing his face deliberately over Yuzuru’s throat, so that his stubble really scratches, and Yuzuru shudders all over. 

“Yeah, I grew it a little. Do you like it?”

 _Like it?_ Yuzuru can barely even think, he likes it so much. 

“Yeah, I like it.”

Yuzuru tugs Javi’s jumper up and off and Javi returns the favour, pulling Yuzuru’s tie loose, kissing down Yuzuru’s chest as he unbuttons his shirt, until they’re both topless. Javi doesn’t stop once he reaches Yuzuru’s belt, though. He keeps going, sinking down to his knees and nuzzling over the bulge in the front of Yuzuru’s pants. 

Yuzuru swallows hard and nods, granting Javi the permission he was waiting for. He watches as Javi works his belt and pants open, blood rushing in his ears as Javi eases his underwear down to his knees and then takes Yuzuru’s half-hard cock in hand. Javi works him gently around the head, to begin with, just how he knows Yuzuru likes, but after so long apart even that tiny touch is almost too much. Javi strokes Yuzuru until he’s squirming, back against the wall for support, and then he relents, holding Yuzuru still as he dips his head and takes Yuzuru into his mouth. 

Javi is so good at this, his mouth warm and wet around the head of Yuzuru’s cock, and Yuzuru knows he isn’t going to be able to stand this for very long, not unless he wants to come embarrassingly quickly. He threads both hands through Javi’s hair and pushes, guiding Javi down just a little further. Eyes sparkling, Javi goes, relenting under the gentle pressure as he allows Yuzuru to set the pace. 

He isn’t sure when he started gasping but it’s all Yuzuru can hear, now, that and the slick, filthy sounds of Javi working him. It’s too good, Javi’s mouth, and Yuzuru bites down hard on his bottom lip as he dredges up all of his willpower and pushes Javi away. 

“Too much?” Javi asks, grinning, his mouth swollen and red. He turns to press biting kisses to the smooth insides of Yuzuru’s thighs and Yuzuru has to fight the urge to close his legs either side of Javi’s head, let Javi go to town on him. They could save that for later, maybe. Yuzuru doesn’t imagine either of them are going to get very much sleep tonight but right now Yuzuru wants-

“Up,” he says, loosening his hold on Javi’s hair. Javi stands, groaning as his knees creak and crack. Yuzuru knows how that feels. Once he’s standing, Yuzuru drags Javi in close for a kiss. Their noses bump and Javi’s laughter tastes sweet on his lips. 

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this moment? To kiss you again, to hold you in my arms?” Javi sighs and sucks Yuzuru’s bottom lip into his mouth. Yuzuru’s cock is aching and he presses himself deliberately into Javi’s body, moving so that Javi can feel his hard-on against his hip. “Cariño.” 

“Long as me. Too long, for all this talking. Fuck me.”

Javi barks a laugh, damn him. 

“What a romantic sentiment. I’m so lucky to have you.”

Yuzuru huffs. “Time for romance later. Sex now.”

Javi slides his hands down to Yuzuru’s waist, squeezing, and then begins to try and pull Yuzuru along with him. Yuzuru digs his heels against the floor, planting himself. Javi raises his eyebrows. “What?”

“Here.”

“ _Here?_ ” Javi sounds incredulous, as though Yuzuru just suggested they go and fuck on the balcony. “Yuzu, baby, I’m not having sex with you in the hallway. You have a perfectly good bed just-“

“Too far, Javi,” Yuzuru hums. He closes the distance between the two of them, pressing himself bodily against Javi again, letting him feel how much Yuzuru wants him. Yuzuru can feel Javi’s resolve melting. 

“Let’s- go to the sofa, at least. It’s right-“ Yuzuru dips his head, kissing wetly along Javi’s shoulder. “Fuck, Yuzu. It’s right there.”

The federation gave Yuzuru a big, spacious suite all to himself and the bed may as well be a million miles away, tucked away in another room like it is. But the sofa? The sofa Yuzuru can work with. 

“Hmm.” Yuzuru makes a show of thinking about it, considering the option like he isn’t the impatient one, as though he’s not the one rubbing his body against Javi’s. “Okay.”

Yuzuru pulls away. He toes off his shoes, slips the rest of the way out of his pants and underwear and pads over to the sofa. The carpet is soft beneath his bare feet and if Yuzuru puts a little extra swing into his hips then he’s rewarded for it by the sound of Javi’s belt being torn off. Yuzuru takes another step, two, and then Javi’s hands are on him, curling around his bare waist. 

He turns Yuzuru and kisses him hard, hard enough that they’re both panting when they separate. With a palm on his chest, Javi guides Yuzuru backwards, one, two, three steps, until the back of his knees hit the sofa. 

“Where’s your lube?”

The question flushes Yuzuru’s body with heat. 

“Usual,” Yuzuru says, the catch in his voice genuine and unaffected. “Hurry.”

Javi disappears in the direction of the bathroom and Yuzuru makes the most of his time alone, climbing up onto the sofa and arranging himself deliberately over it. He leans his elbows along the back and spreads his legs, shifting until he finds a comfortable position that also allows him to drop his hips and push his ass out just so. 

Yuzuru doesn’t see Javi return, but he hears him curse, low and guttural. Then there’s a warm hand on his back, sliding down the dip of his spine, to his tailbone, and then his ass. Javi cups one of his cheeks and then slides his thumb between them, grazing over his entrance. Yuzuru presses back into the touch and feels Javi’s breath ghost over the nape of his neck. 

“You look incredible.”

“I know,” Yuzuru thinks, not realising he’s said it out loud until Javi is laughing again. It’s a fond, familiar sound, vibrating against Yuzuru’s skin as Javi drops his head, burying his face in between Yuzuru’s shoulder blades. 

“I missed you so much.” 

Just having Javi close again like this, feeling the warmth of his body, his skin, pressed against his own, is a pleasure all of it’s own. But they’re both desperate for more and before long Javi moves off him, leaning on the arm of the sofa as he slicks his fingers up. He touches the small of Yuzuru’s back and Yuzuru nods. 

Javi pushes one finger in, closely followed by another. The groan that spills from Yuzuru’s throat is low and Yuzuru doesn’t even try to hold it back, not when Javi twists his wrist and pushes in deeper, the palm on his back weighing heavy and secure. 

It’s been a while since he touched himself like this, putting all of his energy into training for Worlds, instead, but his body remembers Javi’s touch and Yuzuru loosens up quickly. Javi slides a third finger into him, spreading them, really opening Yuzuru up. His head falls forward when Javi brushes over his prostate and Yuzuru gasps Javi’s name. 

“Ready?” Javi asks and Yuzuru nods frantically, desperate to get more than just Javi’s fingers inside him. 

Yuzuru feels Javi move away and he turns his head to watch as he strips out of his underwear. His cock springs up against his belly, hard and pink, and Yuzuru must make some sort of noise because Javi grins, pleased and still, after all this time, a little shy. Javi slicks himself up thoroughly. Yuzuru drops his head to rest on the curve of his own bicep and he doesn’t shift until the sofa dips beneath Javi’s weight as he climbs up behind him. 

Javi slots his knees between Yuzuru’s and then his palm returns to the small of Yuzuru’s back, steadying them both as he lines himself up. It’s a fraught moment, like the thirty seconds before a skate, hanging here with anticipation rolling in his gut while he waits for Javi to take that final step and push in. 

When he finally does, Yuzuru feels like his entire body deflates. He’s been so busy since the last time he saw Javi, when he came back to Toronto right before Europeans, and Yuzuru knows he’d missed him, but he’d had other things to concentrate on. He hadn’t had the time to linger on it, hadn’t allowed himself to really, physically _miss_ Javi. But now, with the warmth of Javi’s solid body behind him, with the press of Javi inside him, all of those feelings he’d forced himself to smother come roaring back. 

“Oh, Javi. _Oh_ ,” Yuzuru moans. He shifts, pressing his hips back, until Javi’s pelvis is slotted right up against his ass, the two of them so close that there isn’t even room for a slip of rice paper between them. “Please move. Please.” 

Javi’s stubble tickles as he kisses the knobs at the top of Yuzuru’s spine, moving around to mouth at the side of his throat. “I know, baby. I know.” Javi rocks his hips, slow at first, finding his rhythm. “You’re amazing.”

Javi’s hand has moved from Yuzuru’s back to his waist and his fingers flex constantly as he fucks Yuzuru. The sofa creaks beneath them and Yuzuru leans forward, fingers clenching into fists as he drapes himself over the back. The shift presses Javi right up against his prostate and Yuzuru moans, long and low. 

“Oh my god.” Yuzuru’s whole body shudders and he cants his ass up, hips dropping. “Harder. Fuck me harder. Javi, please.”

Teeth sink into his shoulder, rolling the skin, and then pressing frantic, scratchy kisses all over the muscular expanse of his back. “Harder?” Javi asks, by his ear. Yuzuru nods. His sweaty hair fans across his forehead. “I can do that. Yeah, I can do that.” He fucks up into Yuzuru with more force, the hand at his waist grasping, white knuckled. “I can do anything for you.”

Yuzuru can barely hear him over the sound of his own panting breaths, their skin slapping together in the otherwise silent suite. He can’t remember if it felt this good last time, in Javi’s apartment before he left for Minsk, frost coating the windows and Yuzuru on his back, legs thrown over Javi’s shoulders. If it did, Yuzuru doesn’t know how he ever let Javi leave. 

Pleasure is starting to simmer in his gut, prickling like nerves. Javi brings a hand down to cover Yuzuru’s, linking their fingers together and squeezing. Yuzuru shifts all of his weight to his other elbow, bicep straining, and guides their joined hands down between his legs. Javi catches on fast, loosening his grip so that Yuzuru can take himself in hand. His cock is drooling pre-come and it smears across Yuzuru’s palm, hot and sticky. Javi’s hand engulfs his again and Yuzuru lets him set the pace, whining as Javi strokes their hands down and then back up, dragging his thumb over the wet slick of his crown. “Javi- _Javi_ -“

Yuzuru shudders, clenching hard. His cock jerks and Yuzuru is suddenly hyper-aware of every single inch of Javi inside him, fucking him silly. 

“God, yeah, that’s it,” Javi growls. Yuzuru is burning up, sweat dripping down the side of his face, the inside of his thighs. He feels insensate with pleasure, unable to think straight, let alone string a sentence together in English. 

“I need you, Javi. I need you, please-“ Yuzuru gasps, in Japanese, and it always feels more intimate, somehow, sharing his language with Javi in moments like this. “Holy shit. Oh- it’s so good, you’re so fucking good, Javi. I’m gonna-“

Javi whispers something in his ear, running his tongue over the shell and then tugging with his teeth. His stubble scratches and there’s a sudden, uncontrollable tug in the deepest pit of Yuzuru’s stomach before he’s coming. It washes over him like a sudden downpour of summer rain, engulfing his whole body. Yuzuru can hear himself speaking, rambling nonsense, but his vision is fuzzy around the edges, his entire focus reduced down to the way Javi feels inside him. His hips stutter forward, completely out of his control as he spills almost endlessly over both of their hands. 

When Yuzuru finally becomes aware of the rest of his body and the room around him, he has his face pressed into the back of the sofa cushions and no recollection of how it got there. He can feel Javi pounding into him, his body twitching and trembling with every thrust. 

“That good, nene?” Javi asks. He sounds close to the edge himself, coiled tight and desperate. Yuzuru doesn’t trust himself to speak so he just lifts his heavy head and nods. Their hands are still curled around Yuzuru’s softening cock and Yuzuru shakes them free, moving so that he’s braced on both elbows. Javi immediately grabs onto either side of his hips, smearing Yuzuru’s release across his skin. 

“Spread your legs,” Javi pants. “Please, Yuzu. I’m so close.” 

Yuzuru is a little too oversensitive, his body thrumming in the comedown, but he does as he’s asked, sliding his knees apart as far as he can with Javi still bracketing them. Javi whimpers, thrusts faltering, and it’s worth the mild discomfort for that sound, to hear just how much Javi wants this. 

Javi is almost prone against him, hips stuttering. Yuzuru grunts and wriggles his hips to give him the go ahead. Javi takes it, gripping Yuzuru’s hips hard enough to bruise and picking his pace back up. The sound of their bodies coming together is almost obscene now that Yuzuru isn’t quite so lost in pursuit of his own pleasure but Yuzuru sinks into it, relaxing as Javi fucks into him once, twice more he spills inside Yuzuru with a quiet, helpless yelp. 

Javi slumps forward when he’s done, trapping Yuzuru beneath him. Yuzuru feels all the breath rush out of him and he’s about to shift, complain, attempt to piece enough English together to ask Javi to get up. But then Yuzuru feels lips on his neck, Javi’s hands running up and down his sides, springing goosebumps in their wake. 

“I love you so much,” Javi says, voice barely above a whisper. Yuzuru shivers, emotion welling like a tide up his throat. 

“Love Javi, too.” Javi nuzzles his nose into the hair at Yuzuru’s temple and then he moves, the sofa dipping as he stands. He strokes a palm down the slope of Yuzuru’s spine. 

“Wait there. I’ll go and get some towels.”

Yuzuru rests his cheek on his forearm and closes his eyes as he listens to Javi’s soft, fading footfalls. He has to fight not to fall asleep, exhaustion clawing at him as Javi clatters around in the bathroom. Yuzuru hears the sound of running water, then after a minute or two of silence Javi returns to his side. 

The towel that Javi runs over him is warm and damp and Yuzuru closes his eyes again as Javi cleans the film of sweat and spunk from his skin. He slides another towel between Yuzuru’s legs and he’s gentle as he cleans up the mess that he’d left there, but Yuzuru still grumbles when he’s jostled. Javi laughs and presses a kiss to Yuzuru’s tailbone once he’s done. 

“Are we allowed to go to bed now?” Javi asks. 

Yuzuru doesn’t answer right away. Instead he shifts, turning to sit on the sofa so that he’s facing Javi properly. His entire body is aching, from skating and from sex, both, and Yuzuru isn’t entirely sure he can make it to the bed by himself. He holds his arms out. 

“Carry me.” 

Javi smiles fondly. 

They’re around the same height, and Yuzuru is much heavier than he looks, but Javi’s strong and he hauls Yuzuru up into his arms without too much trouble. Yuzuru wraps himself around Javi, arms and legs like creeping vines. He doesn’t let go until they make it to the bedroom and Javi is forced to try and manoeuvre himself when he attempts to set Yuzuru down. They roll around, shuffling and wriggling, legs everywhere, until finally they get cuddled up under the sheets. 

Yuzuru only slept for about three hours last night and he’s made it through today mostly on sheer stubbornness, a sense of duty to present himself well to the people at home. They get to see him so rarely and all Yuzuru had wanted was to show them his best, to win for them, to prove how grateful he has always been, and will always be, for their support. But now it’s all catching up to him and the fatigue, emotional and physical, is buried all the way down in his bones. 

He doesn’t realise he’s crying until Javi is shushing him, whispering sweetly as he pulls Yuzuru close. 

“Shh, hey. Shh. You’re okay. You’re okay, Yuzu, mi precioso.”

Yuzuru sniffs. 

Javi presses their foreheads together and then wipes the wetness from Yuzuru’s cheeks with the pad of his thumb. Yuzuru gasps around a sob, his shoulders shaking, and leans in closer. He hides his face in Javi’s neck and holds him tight, tries to focus on the sound of his heartbeat, the warmth of his skin, rather than the hateful flush of tears. 

Javi doesn’t even try to stop him. He just soothes Yuzuru as he slowly begins to calm, rocking his tired body as Yuzuru’s breathing gradually returns to normal. 

“I’m sorry,” Yuzuru whispers, wet, into the dip of Javi’s throat. 

He feels stupid, crying in front of Javi like this. He’d cried plenty yesterday, in front of his entire coaching team, sobbing into Tracy’s shoulder as she’d held him like he was one of her own children, until her jumper was soaked through with snot. He’d cried with his mum, too, hot, angry things that welled up in his eyes and tasted salty in his mouth. Yuzuru shouldn’t have any tears left to cry and yet here he is, weeping all over Javi like a moron. 

“Don’t apologise, not to me,” Javi says. Yuzuru’s eyes are swollen and sore when he looks up. Javi places a kiss over each of them. 

“But I’m just- I’m so-“ There isn’t an adequate word in English for the way he feels, Yuzuru thinks. Or at least, if there is, Yuzuru doesn’t know it. He buries his face harder into Javi’s throat, nose against his Adam’s apple, and inhales the scent of him. Yuzuru keeps breathing slowly, in and out in and out, until he feels stable again. “So frustrate- no. Frustrated? Angry. Sad.” Yuzuru sighs. 

“I know,” Javi soothes. His voice rumbles as it passes through his throat and he runs his hand up and down Yuzuru’s back, right down to his tailbone and then returning to his cup his neck, fingers curling into Yuzuru’s hair. “I know, and it’s okay to be, you know. The whole way Worlds was this year, it was hard. The judging-“ Javi stops himself. Yuzuru pulls away just enough that he can lift his head and look at Javi’s face. “I know you’re annoyed about the invalidated Quad Sal, but I don’t know that it would have made that much difference, in the end.”

He sounds so angry and the thought of Javi being so outraged on his behalf, even still, makes something primitive flutter in the pit of Yuzuru’s stomach. 

“Can be much better, though. Must be better. My levels should be much more higher, fix Sal.” Yuzuru pauses for just a second. “Do more type of quads.”

Javi sighs. “Yuzu, sweetheart. Please. I know you want to do more all the time and it’s amazing. You know I have so much respect for how you’re always pushing to be the best, but do you really think that trying to get all of the quads is the right road to go down?”

Despite his exhaustion, Yuzuru bristles. 

“Javi doesn’t think I can do them?”

Javi relents immediately. He runs his fingers through Yuzuru’s hair, pushing it up off his face, and Yuzuru relaxes, the outrage gone as quickly as it appeared. 

“I know you do can do them, I just worry about you. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. And your ankle…” Javi trails off, nails scratching gently at his scalp. It’s Yuzuru’s turn to sigh, this time. He looks down at the ankle in question and flexes it beneath the sheets, doing some light figures. It’s been aching constantly since the day of the short programme and it’s aching now, too, a dull, irritating throb. 

“Yeah, my ankle.” Yuzuru tries not to sound too bitter, but he isn’t sure he succeeds. “Don’t worry, I train smart.” That’s been their mantra at Cricket since Rostelecom and back even further, to the Olympics. All the way to the NHK Trophy last season, where this whole mess started. “I go home to Toronto tomorrow, start official rehabilitation programme.” The word sits heavy and uncomfortable on his tongue and it’s not because of the language barrier. “We have whole plan figure out. Ghislain coming with me to help while Brian on holiday.”

Javi scoffs and holds Yuzuru tighter. “Oh great, now I’m really filled with confidence if _Ghislain_ is the one trying to keep you under control. You’ve had him wrapped around your little finger for years, the two of you will have that jump harness out before the first week is over.” Javi is only teasing, of course, but it still makes Yuzuru smile. 

“Javi just jealous because Ghislain always more strict with you than me.”

Javi runs a hand down Yuzuru’s back and jabs him hard in the the stomach, tickling. Yuzuru twists in his grasp but that just spurs Javi on, tickling even more relentlessly. He tugs Yuzuru close and Yuzuru resists, pulling back until the two of them are rolling around together, giggling like a pair of highschoolers.

Javi eventually gets the upper hand and Yuzuru is breathless and panting by the time Javi pins him, both arms above his head. It’s a provocative position, trapped and naked beneath Javi like this, Javi’s knees squeezed tight either side of Yuzuru’s waist. If he weren’t so worn out, Yuzuru might do something to help move things along. He can still enjoy this for what it is, though, the warm, solid weight of Javi’s body on top of his, the soft but exasperated expression on his face. 

“You know I won’t ever try and tell you what to do,” Javi starts. He shifts Yuzuru’s wrists into one hand, holding him loosely. Yuzuru could easily get out of this if he wanted. Javi brings his other hand down to stroke Yuzuru’s hair again, carding his fingers through it, teasing out a knot. “But you’ll be careful, won’t you? You’ll be sensible with your jumps, don’t push your ankle too hard?”

It would rankle from almost anyone else, the insinuation that Yuzuru would be reckless with his health, that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. But Yuzuru knows that isn’t what Javi means, or thinks. Yuzuru might have taken risks in the past, he might push the envelope, sometimes, more often than he probably should. But he knows his limits and he knows his body. Yuzuru knows what he can realistically ask of it. 

“I promise,” Yuzuru says, quiet and earnest. “I don’t want more injury, either, but I have to do this to get technical more high, to win. Otherwise no point.”

Javi’s hand leaves his hair and begins to map his face, trailing his fingers over Yuzuru’s ear, his nose, the soft line of his jaw and the bow of his lips. Yuzuru parts his mouth and Javi dips his thumb into the wet heart for just a second before he pulls away. 

“I just want you to be happy,” Javi says gently. “Happy and healthy.”

Yuzuru nods and licks his lips. He sees Javi’s gaze drop down and then they’re kissing, Javi’s mouth furnace hot against his as he slides their tongues together. Yuzuru’s lips feel bruised by the time they pull apart. Javi nuzzles their noses and then kisses his forehead. 

“We should sleep, you must be drained.”

Yuzuru hums. Javi lets him up and they shift around on the bed again until they find a comfortable position. They’re pressed against each other, legs tangled, Yuzuru’s head on Javi’s chest. He can hear Javi’s heartbeat, slow and steady beneath his ear. It reminds Yuzuru of nights in Toronto, curled together in Javi’s bed with Effie at their feet. The moonlight would always peek in through Javi’s too thin curtains, gilding everything in milky white light. It felt like they had all the time in the world, back then, the future stretched out before them, endless as the night. 

It’s not so bad now though, either, Yuzuru supposes. Javi’s hand strokes down his back, drawing soothing circles over his muscles and the bumps of his spine, his heart thumping the whole time, like a metronome. 

Yuzuru sighs, the air easing out of him. He curls in closer to Javi, hand twisted into a fist on his stomach. 

“Love you,” Yuzuru whispers. It’s only because they’ve spent so much time in this position that Yuzuru knows Javi isn’t asleep yet. There’s a shift and then lips press against the crown of his head. 

“I love you, too. So much.”

They both settle after that. Yuzuru closes his eyes, lingering on the edge of wakefulness as he hears Javi’s breathing begin to even out. 

Yuzuru can see himself in his mind’s eye, on the ice, striking the ending pose of Origin. A closed fist, raised to the sky, hundreds of Poohs raining down around him. He didn’t win, today, but he did the best, in that moment, that he was capable of. His best is something he’s slowly learning to be proud of and that, Yuzuru thinks as he finally succumbs to sleep, is a victory all of its own.


End file.
